by Andi Goddeyne
It’s an unfortunate fact of life that some of us don’t have mothers. For me, it was because fate stepped in late October of 2008. I’m not alone in that.
I don’t have children. I don’t plan to anytime soon. There isn’t a lot to fill the void of being motherless on days such as Mother’s Day. However, throughout the last eight years, I have found there are things to do that can help.
- Stay off of Social media. Just don’t go there. Don’t read the posts of the more fortunate. Don’t check the news too much because you will eventually stumble upon something that takes a stab at your chest. It’s best to be as Internet free as possible.
- Try to stay out of public places. I understand this may be more challenging. Some of us want to get out of the house so we don’t feel so alone. Trust me, you don’t need to see the signs and the balloons. You can skip seeing the heartwarming mother/son/daughter lunch. Run your errands another day.
- Go on a hike. Whatever a hike is to you. It doesn’t have to be strenuous. But we live in freakin’ Colorado. This valley has more hikes than I can count and there is destined to be one out there for you. Exert yourself and clear your mind. And when it’s over, take a look at the view. It is bound to lift you up. You can’t be somewhere so beautiful and not find at least part of this day to be the same.
- Read a book. Even if reading isn’t your thing, pick up a short story for the afternoon. There is something comforting about reading a story (preferably not a sad one, especially on a day such as today) that has a beginning, middle and end. It’s concrete. It cannot be changed no matter how many times you read it. It offers a special kind of solace when life feels so unpredictable and unfair.
- Spend part of the day with someone close. If you’re as lucky as I am, you have a pseudo-mother. She may also be someone else’s real mom, but she probably loves you as her own. Remind her how thankful you are that there is a person like her in this world. And if you don’t? Find a best friend, sister or boy/girlfriend, whatever. Someone that knows you well. They’ll know best what to do. You don’t have to be entirely alone, not when someone loves you.
It can be difficult to find meaning in such a meaningless day, I know. And none of these things are going to take away the sting. They’re more like suppressants. But I think you’ve probably come to find that any (safe) means of surviving a loss like this is worth trying.
But the best part? We will survive it.